A reader commented on my complaint that nude beaches are predominantly the domain of older guys. He said that older people have come to terms with their body and it’s flaws and have reached a level of comfort with themselves that we younger guys haven’t reached.
I totally agree with him. I have body issues (decreasing pleasingly as I age) but I haven’t let them stop me getting my gear off on nude beaches since I was 22 or so. Why is it that younger people are so self conscious of being seen nude when in theory, they are the people closer to the popular ideal of beauty? I know peer pressure plays a part but that can’t be all of it. I’m interested to hear your theories and possibly when and why those of you that do go nude, started doing so.
As a kid in boarding school, I was teased ruthlessly for being a bit of an outsider. That compounded when as my body matured, my mates saw that I had a very large cock…but only one testicle. So I became the outsider kid with the paradox of something between my legs that enhanced my masculinity but something else that in their eyes made me less of a man.
It was only in my late 20′s when I finally got over the hang up and realised that on the nude beach, there is always someone hotter, uglier, skinnier, with a bigger cock, with a smaller one, with bad body scabs, with too much hair etc. Basically I accepted that whilst I may not be confident with my skinny body or my one testicle, it really was my hang up more than anyone else’s. And that was such a liberating feeling.
Now at the age of 34, I really do feel comfortable naked at the beach and wish I could be naked in a non-sexual way with more people. I love it when guys come over for a chat naked without being cruised. I had a nude massage in Sydney with a bloke in his 50′s and it was totally non-sexual and quite a wonderful relaxation.
Henry Rollins on his most recent spoken word tour spoke of the same issues (yeah, a dude as hot as Hank having body confidence issues!) and he came to the same conclusion. But he added that no matter if you are skinny, you are still hot to someone. If you are chubby, you are still hot to someone. And so forth.
Looking forward to reading other reader’s perspectives.
It seems the older guys had men like Robert Mitchum to compare to. There weren’t the Brad Pitt model types that anyone had to live up to. Men are developing this adonis complex in the last decade or so, starting with the big body builders back in the 80′s. It seems like women were the only ones who had to live up to some barbie doll expectations. Now men are developing the same self conscious ideas.
College dorms and even gyms have closed stalls instead of open communal showers. And I also think homophobia plays a big part. In today’s digital world, you have to think of who is going to see you. Back in the day, it was just your buddies on that beach. Now, anyone with an Iphone can snap your picture, post it online, and the whole world will be seeing you naked.
I think in today’s world, you have to be an athelete, military or frat boy to have those close connections to other guys. Sad but true for me. I also think we aren’t taught good people skills these days. It is so hard to be casual with other guys and the internet has everyone living online rather than in the real world.
I think it has to do with church upbringing and even the family…whether they were an open sort of family where people could be themselves or not. Many families, unfortunately, were required to always be clothed……and taught against seeing one another naked. I was. thankfully, I shed those old ideas and am on to my new way of living nude!
First of all, let me comment on this site. I LOVE IT! Thank You some much for this site!
Now that that is said. I was on this site eairlir today and read the comments, all true by the way. As a now 51 year old man who finds himself in the position he uesd to weird out about when he was younger, I am more relaxed about my body now than I used to be when I was younger. I have never been well built and all that, was always on the skinny side and teased for it, wasn’t and still not well hung, so was self-consisious of that. And I hated the fact that older guys were hitting on me. But then someone told me to relax because I too am going to be in the same situation that these older guys are in. Haveing said that here I am older and love to look at the younger guys, but I have also experienced being laughed at and mocked by these younger guys.
I was just recently camping with some frineds of mine, and one of the guys that I was with that weekend, had a chance to go hiking in the nude. Now normally hiking or camping in the nude with this group of friends is not done, most are the butch hunter types(manly men if you know what I mean), anyway he and I slipped of our shorts(me I had on a kilt) and were just walking along minding our won business, stop to rest and then had a jack off session. Now the amazing part of this story is I never would have expected this pictular guy to want to jack off with another guy, was totally surprised by this. If I were to have been younger I would have been afraid that I would have been beat up or something. Will this happen again. don’t know. I don’t really have a change to do much outdoors nude activities, mostly at home and when I can in backyard, but when I do get a chance, trust me I take it.
Sorry for go on and on. and Thanks again for this site! By the way I am so enviouse of you Aussies because you have so many chances to go nude and the weather. Would love to visit sometime.
My honey and I have skinny dipped (is that a north american term?) or camped naked since we were in our thirties, maybe earlier. Granted, these experiences weren’t like being at a nude beach, always secluded. We still enjoy it though now we work as much as recreate in the bush. Our early habits made us more comfortable in more public settings so now we look for nude beaches in our travels. Often they are as Brenton described, populated with old guys like us. Then there are others with a range of men from younger to older, women, families, etc. We always enjoy the view as people watching is our major activity. The scenery can be compelling, and we suspect that some of the younger men may be, ahem, working. No judgment here. In the words of Janis Joplin, “Get it while you can.”
Young people cover up in the presence of older people, particularly those who make a nuisance of themselves. I loved being nude with people my age when I was young, and it was pretty common in 50s and 60s. But if an old wrinkly propped in the middle of us back then we’d dress and move on. I was into other young bodies, not oldies. Remembering that, I avoid intruding on the space of younger people.
Now that I’m older I make sure I’m polite, and clothed, when I pass younger surfers with my older, ancient surfer mates. No hassling, no ogling, well, maybe a quick mental snapshot on the way by. I respect their space, they respect us as old regular hard case surfers from the dawn of time and everyone is happy.
It is all a question of behaviour and manners.
Now in my late 40′s,,,I to have said,,What to hell! lol I am naked at home,,and with my b/f sometimes,,he does enjoy hanging out in underwear,,but I like to just let it all hang free. So when at home my myself,,that’s what I do. It would be great to have a few freinds that would like to hang out,,watch TV, BBQ,,naked,,no sexual tension, or expectations. But until then,,I will enjoy it by myself. Thx Brenton,,for a great site for us to visit,,and live thru your eyes!
Maybe the decades of skin cancer warnings have had an impact on young guys’ perceptions of appropriate beachwear, and combined with fewer instances of social nudity in locker rooms/ shared bedrooms etc just makes it all feel too weird to get naked on a beach with others. Was watching some footage of building sites from the 70s recently – when did you last see a worksite where most the men wore only workboots and Stubbies (a brand of short shorts)? Those blokes are today’s old men on the beach, wearing speedos or nothing when the young blokes are nearly all in boardies.
Late 40s here, rotten body image as a teen when I started skinny dipping in the privacy of the backyard pool, then beaches rarely as a late 20s (still have to cross the border to Belongil to go beach-naked legally so don’t do it often now). As is often voiced, you see all types/shapes on a busy nude beach, it’s a place where many social barriers are broken down, and that is likely to make you more at peace with yourself. However it will only happen if you get to the nude beach in the first place, and as long as they’re seen as quite distinct places many young people will never venture there to gain the experience.
As for the image comparisons the young might feel they have to live up to, is it just the beaches I visit and the days I’m there (or my own size or lack thereof:) ) or are well hung blokes always more likely to go nude?
Thanks for the site, Brenton – always an interesting read.
Maybe it’s that for many people – perhaps the younger more so? – being nude is still predominantly about sex (or showering, but how usually showers on a beach?).
Being nude in a known “gay” environment can also be seen as meaning “I’m here for sex”. (My experiences at the local nudist spot is that even staying away from the “beat” part does not stop the direct or indirect propositions)
Older guys can also be less self-conscious, so perhaps more likely to “give it a go” when it comes to approaching another nude guy for more than a friendly chat?
Perhaps it’s also that younger people tend to hang out where other younger people hang out.
Anyway, a few thoughts on the matter….
When I was young I rarely was nude. I was always afraid I would get an erection. (I would have too) Nobody told me it was OK and that everyone is the same.
Now days with coed gym classes no one showers anymore. Guys don’t change in front of other guys. If they get dressed in a locker room they never get totally naked they change their shirt first then their pants with their shirts covering everything, even when changing after swimming. I have also seen them grabbing their clothes and changing in a bathroom stall.
when I was in high school I got an erection in the shower. this was a traumatic experience for me, I was ridiculed and made fun of throughout my High school years.Fortunately this pushed me to become comfortable with my naked body in front of others and alot of healing took place @the nude beaches her on long island New York…A long journey since i was 18 years old and now I’am 46 years old ,I’am proud of my journey.
well im only 21 and i love being nude and going to nude beaches im comfortable with my body, its not the greatest body but it will do. i think young people are still finding out what they enjoy and i enjoy being nude and it doesnt have to be sexual i would love to have other nudists mates to hang with and i dont really care what age in saying that i think younger people would be turned off by there being so many older guys there so just go out and have fun and do it naked!
I have been at peace with my body since i can remember. I love getting my gear off and I know I don’t have the perfect body – What is a perfect body? I have been to nude beaches here in Sydney and in the NT. Sydney’s Lady Jane was my first time and I was suprised by the number of families there. I also strolled along the nude beach in Cassurina Darwin. That was different cos no swimming due to the salt water crocs but still nice people and on both beaches there were people with all kinds, shape colour, hairy, shaved partially shaved and what I liked about it was nothing was hidden they saw you for what you are a human they talked to you and mutually agreed a certain respect and etiquitte (spelling). I was brought into this world naked and I will be doing my darnest to go out that way too.