Tonight was the culmination of several days of anxiousness and stress. I’ve not long got home from my aerial silks class which was, on a personal level, a total disaster but probably something that needed to happen. I had a spectacular routine mapped out that I was going to work on but for some reason my confidence was really low, I felt unsafe and insecure up on the silks.
One good thing that will come out of it is that my teacher this term is really pushing the performance aspect rather than just the big tricks. So with her guidance we have stripped my routine right back to a handful of small tricks and I’m focussing on REALLY performing and linking movements well, which is not a strong point of mine and is actually quite confronting and challenging.
I was already emotionally exhausted by the time I arrived at class after days of over-analysing the situation with Irishman. There were a couple of issues that I was having with the relationship and my gut was telling me to leave it behind. Then Irishman was out of contact ALL weekend which was unusual. Turns out he’s dealing with a HUGE amount of emotional family issues and over working himself on top of being too soon out of a bad relationship when we met. So, mercifully, we’ve put the relationship out of it’s misery and will continue as friends. That man has an enormous heart and needs to focus all of it’s strengths on himself for once. With better timing and different circumstances I can see myself looking into his blue eyes for a very long time, but it’s just not to be.
Im sorry about the Irishman – but i wish the friendship well mate.
My partner and I started out as friends so you never know……….
Hugs and mugs,.
I am sorry, the right person will turn up.
Brenton,
sometimes dude we guys rush into labeling it a relationship
…so you snookered and became intimate. simply create a space for the friendship to evolve as the basis for something long-term w/ Irishman. because when the sex goes away and it will, what will you have then ? I think most of all right now he needs loving support. maybe he’s overwhelmed with your unconditional-ness. i learned a lot from the book “5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman…and “5 Languages of Apology” you deserve back what you so are willing to offer. blessings your way. I’ve enjoyed your blog and musings for years. thank you…
Bullshite
Your always on about not having a BF, you should of made it work, its like everything else in this world, you need to work at it.
You are expecting the “One” to be handed to you on a friggen plate
Hey I am truly sorry about Irishman but you got to keep the the fate if not for you but for the rest of us who are right there with you in the same place are time will come ! And Irishman 2 litttle harse but might have a point ! We here for you buddy
Sorry to hear that B. Glad you will continue as friends and the right one will come along eventually.
hugs
j
It looks to me like you might actually prefer the idea of a relationship to an actual involvement with another being, an idea of an erotic pursuit to sweating/snoring/whatever other. In and of itself, it is in no way unusual and in no way wrong.
well this is from the Irish man himself,and the truth will follow as i met u with no expectations what would happen,and then feelings and emotions began.And with my history of whats happen to me,And thats brevement,not a nice thing,and lonely to be honest,and its i journey i have to do on my own,because emotions are everywhere everyday.HOWEVER in the small time we were togeather the MEMORIES are huge,and now i have amazing friend.You are amazing Mr PARRY,im so greatful to have you in my life,and thanku for making me relize im not on my owm.THANKU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING,U HAVE MADE ME FEEL WARM AGAIN.
Good luck to both of you …. I love reading your blog and appreciate your honesty.
the irish man – brenton is a good guy :) and best of luck to you – yes… some of these journeys have to be taken alone….
Maybe one day…………………..