A friend and I were having a conversation the other day after another disastrous intended set up by a friend. A girl I see at the gym had someone she thought would be perfect for me, wants something long term, not a party boy…
Back that bit up. Not a party boy? I saw her the other day and asked if she was still going to introduce us. She said to give up on that one, he’d gone missing for ten days off on a Crystal Meth bender. Nice. Glad she thought we were perfect but I’ll pass.
After discussing this adventure and others with my other friend, with his help I came to the conclusion that it’s my fault. If “The Secret” is correct, then you attract what you put out there. If I’m always talking about disastrous dates and freaks that I’ve met, then surely that’s just attracting more. So no more. I’ll go on dates should the occasion arise and if they don’t go anywhere, nothing needs to be made of it. Change my attitude. Simple.
There are lots of books on the market regarding “The Secret”, such as the venerable “Power of Positive Thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale. More recent books are “Three Magic Words” and “The Secret of Secrets - Your Key to Subconscious Power” by Uell S. Andersen. Additionally the techniques of Silva Mind Control can be particularly useful in implementing personal goals.
Links:
http://www.silvamethod.com/
Mate you are way too hard on yourself…you are good looking and seemingly genuin person. I love reading your blog and I look for the posts daily.
I was a 36 year old in the closet miserable man who weighed 130 kg. My older brother was diagnosed with cancer and I thought life was too short to continue on this self descructive path…I pulled my shit togeather droped 46kgs came kicking and screaming out of the closet.
What was so funny about the entire experience everyone already new, so it was no biggy after all. I was amazed at how superficial people were though, all these relatively good looking blokes who had for years rejected me for years where now chasing me around the local nudust beach. I made myself a promise I would never sink to their level I was never rude when I said no and always thanked them for their interest.
I have since met the most amazing man. I love him very much we have been dating going on 18 months now. We certainly have had our ups and downs but we persavere and never go to bed angrey with one another.
keep up the blogging I really enjoy reading your thoughts.
Damian
Baby, I am truly sorry for your dating woes. But you need to stop wanting something so desperately cuz that is how you miss the little things.
I’m not judging you - lord knows I know exactly where you are at 1st hand - but I guess I am making an observation. Given that I have been there & still, every time I see some fucking couple (there goes the bitterness) kissing & stuff, get that little tug at my insides wondering if it will ever happen for me…. I try to remind myself that you can’t force a hand. It either happens or it don’t and you must learn to be at peace with it.
Shit can always be worse baby! Being single can’t be that fucking bad… think about it…
If you come to NY, you got urself a date though…
xo
Rants, Thoughts & Merde
http://www.rantsthoughtsmerde.com/2009/04/madonna-falls-off-horse.html
Or you could look on the positive side of it: You have friends out there who really look out for you and want to help you get happy.
Yeah, the success-rate still kind’a sucks, but I said you should focus on the positive….
And it makes for another great example of your dry humor I get to enjoy on your blog way to rarely.
Looking for love in all the wrong places…………….
Yes indeed like attracts like, in friends and lovers, just look around…………
Having had my share of dates in the past, all good all valid, I finally settled when I started looking for guys who WANT to settle. They usually aren’t the ones with the flashy exterior, high energy needs and need to go party and to the bars to “mingle” but the homebodies, nurturing ones.
So maybe look at what you may be prepared to give up to get a keeper?
Just my two cents.
You’ll still tell US about your date-zasters, right? Schadenfreude is the only freude some of us get!
Hum…
Just be yourself :D
I know that one’s old but nevertheless true as ever ;>
Besides…
Does anyone have an advice for if there’s a good dating social network website for Australia / Sydney? I’m coming over for a year and hate to be alone :>
gr33tz &
pls tell me :D
hey, that’s funny, i watched the Secret just yesterday and here u are talking about it. i think it’s kinda true. not maybe in the very way they talk about it, but it help to think positively
“The Secret” is not correct. A positive attitude can encourage good experiences to happen, but a negative attitude won’t attract negative experiences. Also, if you choose to not talk about your disasters, then those experiences might remain more bottled up and that in turn might impair your performance on subsequent dates. I say keep on bitching when you feel you need to, and you’re totally not the one attracting these douche bags.