Now that the end of term has come for aerial silks class and I have a bunch of new tricks under my belt, the routine I had planned out to put together is going to have to change. I’m still sticking with the Lenny Kravitz song, “Circus” and the punk look, partly because I spent $100 getting the mohawk made and it’s so cool. Partly also because it suits my performance style. I’m not a graceful, lyrical kind of performer so I need a look and feel that doesn’t rely too heavily on “prettiness”.
I can’t wait to start putting it together and when I do, I’ll get up in the costume (when I finish sorting that too) and get it on video. Yay!
Gorgeous, talented, begging for publicity and apparently, if the lyrics are to be believed, a hopeless romantic… as if I’m not going to post the video! Jay Brannan, with his new video “Can’t have it all.”
A couple of days ago I posted the video of Matt Alber’s beautiful song “End of the World”. It’s been a long time since I’ve paid such attention to lyrics of an album. Music for me tends to be background stuff or simple pop stuff to dance around the house to or in the car. Matt has written such beautiful lyrics on his album “Hide Nothing” that I find myself listening to them over and over. Someone was kind enough to post the lyrics to “End of the World”. They are just beautiful.
I don’t wanna ride this roller coaster
think I wanna get off
but they’ve buckled me down
like it’s the end of the world
If you don’t wanna have this conversation
then you better get out
’cause we’re climbing to our deaths
at least that’s what they want you to think
just in case we jump the track
I have a confession to make
It’s something like a cork screw
I don’t wanna fall, I don’t wanna fly
I don’t wanna be dangled over
The edge of a dying romance
But I don’t wanna stop
I don’t wanna lie
I don’t wanna believe it’s over
I just wanna stay with you tonight
I didn’t mean to scream out quite so loudly
When we screeched to a halt
I’m just never prepared
For the end of the ride
Maybe we should get on something simpler
Like a giant balloon
I’ve got two tickets left, so do you
Instead of giving them away to some stranger
Let’s make them count, come on
Let’s get back in line again and ride the big one
Don’t you want to fall, don’t you want to fly
Don’t you want to be dangled over
The edge of this aching romance
If it’s gonna end, then I wanna know
That we squeezed out every moment
But if there’s nothing left can you tell me why
That it is you’re holding onto me
Like it’s the end of the world
After we finished the photoshoot on Friday night of the apparently popular Kieran, I had to jump in for a skinnydip. I’d been thinking about going for a night time skinnydip for months and finally had the perfect opportunity. It would have been better had it been warmer but we are nearly a third of the way through Autumn already so the fact that a swim was even possible is a great thing.
And as an update, Kieran tells me his testicles are back where they should be after being in the cold water for so long.
I’ve just got home from my last class of the term which is very sad. This term has been very bitter sweet for me after hurting myself at the half-way point. Ari has been a fantastic teacher who’s style probably played to some of my strengths. It’s the first time I’ve had a male teacher and I’ve found we’ve done the bigger tricks and strength based stuff more than we might with a female teacher. The last few weeks of watching from the sidelines was really frustrating but I’ve learnt some great things.
I’ve just found out who is teaching the class next term, as Ari is off back overseas to teach and perform in London and Europe. The next term will be very different as Heidi is a very strong performer and puts sequences together beautifully and elegantly and will be a good counterpoint to the strength and dynamic nature of this term. Ari performs really well, but I know Heidi will absolutely drill me on the subtleties and delicacy that my silks routines have lacked til now. So it’s going to be a great way of building on this term. Thanks to Ari for showing us such great tricks and giving the class a great energy!
Yesterday was a bit out of the usual territory for me but a great day all round. Firstly I woke up with Kieran (the boy from the photoshoot) in my bed. Nothing had happened as he has a girlfriend and is MUCH younger than I am, and it wouldn’t be very professional of me to shag all my models. But he lives over an hour away so it was easier for him to crash at my place. With a hot man next to you is a very nice way to start a day.
Then after a bit of pottering around, a bit of a nanna nap and something to eat, I headed off to my gym-buddy’s bucks party. Hanging out with 20 straight guys watching rugby and just being all blokey is something I haven’t done for some time and, nervous as I was before hand being the token homo, I have to say it was a great afternoon/evening. They were all fun guys to hang out with and it was nice to hang out with my buddy outside the gym environment.
Then I had to bail on the bucks party and go to a friends farewell party before he heads to the U.S. to study. I chatted to a couple of lovely guys for a while before I saw a hot blonde guy walking over towards me. Yay for me I thought. Then he said “Do you write a blog called Aussielicious?” That is something that I still can’t get used to. I am very flattered but I never expect to meet people that read the blog as most of the readers are from overseas somewhere.
My first boyfriend was at the party too with his boyfriend. Thankfully we could easily get away with pretending the other one doesn’t exist in the crowd. Perfect.
Last night I did the photoshoot of the hot 21 year old, Kieran. He was kind enough to offer to model for me after seeing the stripper shots. We decided we’d try for some moody night time nudes at Bronte Ocean Pool. We met another friend there at 1.30am-ish last night. It was a tough shoot. The really low light levels meant that we were working with a 5 second exposure. The low water temperatures meant that poor Kieran not only got to see his testicles disappear quite quickly (no mean feat when you saw the size of them initially) but he also got to be VERY cold.
I hope he’s happy with the results. I know I’m pleasantly surprised. I would normally be all over the place shooting off dozens of frames at a shoot, changing angles and playing with lighting. Because of the long exposure, we had to use a tripod. That coupled with the location meant I was very restricted in angles and variation. Kieran was a trooper and I will definitely be shooting him again.
Each year I’ve posted a video that Chadd has put together for me of me doing the routine in the parade. Chadd has been nice enough to do it again for me but I have to say, I’m not happy. This year I was even worse with my diet than I was last year. I had such good intentions of eating right and doing cardio and all sorts of good things in the lead up. None of it happened. Yes I’m being very vain. Yes I’m being hard on myself but I’m getting cranky with myself for my total lack of discipline. It comes from never having to worry about what I eat because I’d never put on weight. Now, as I’m in my mid 30’s, I’m not as lucky. Sure, I’m not fighting the flab but my habits need to be sorted out and soon or as I get older I’m going to get fat.
Anyway, here’s the video of me in this year’s parade. Last year someone posted a comment telling me that I was being very self absorbed not showing the rest of the float and how could I have only thought to film myself. Chadd handed me the video camera on a long extension rod at rehearsal one night and asked to see just how I would film myself doing the routine. It’s not at all possible, but it was funny.
Tomorrow night’s photoshoot is going to be a challenge for me as I’m not very experienced or comfortable with using an manipulating artificial light. I’ll happily admit that my photography has been more successful using natural light. It’s going to be an experimental shoot for me and the model.
He hasn’t done a lot of posing before but he isn’t shy at all from what I understand and we’ll talk through the ideas I have for the shoot before we head out. He’s also agreed to have the shoot videoed too, so that will be something else for you all to look forward to.
The other element that I’m nervous about is the weather. It’s been warm here the last few days but it’s supposed to cool down tomorrow. I don’t want to freeze the poor guy to death just for the sake of a pretty shot.
I just read about this guy in the new DNA which arrived yesterday. Matt Alber is a gay singer songwriter that certainly doesn’t do pop. The first comparison that comes to mind would be Will Young, possibly because of the gay thing, possibly because of the beautiful music and obvious disregard for the “rules” about not flaunting your sexuality.
I found this article a week or so on Towleroad ago but forgot to post it. President Obama is in the process of starting to repeal the ridiculous “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Policy in the U.S. and in a stunning move of bravery, dignity and support, 38 graduates of West Point have come out of the closet and offered their services as liason to the Army administrators.
It’s only through bravery like this and a united front that we’ll ever get rid of archaic (but recent) laws like this.
On Sunday night I got to bed around midnight after the punk gig and promptly passed out, curled up in my bed. When I woke up I saw that I’d missed a text message at 1 am. Now I’m a friendly guy, and can be quite accommodating but every now and then you see something and just think, really? Are you serious?
The text message was from a number that I didn’t have in my phone but given the nature of the message was probably someone I’d “met” some other time but must have deleted the number. It said “I’m so horny right now. Wish I could have you here fucking me so hard you force me to beg for more.”
Even if I knew who it was, I wouldn’t be getting up at 1 am and going to help the poor frustrated chap out. It’s nice to know they think I’m talented at what I do/once did to them and I’m flattered, but no thanks.
It seems that last night’s post “How can you tell?” has opened up a can of worms. One reader asked if I was suggesting that all masculine gay men should be made to have limp wrists and speak with a lisp. Not at all. What I was referring to were the guys that over compensate with their masculinity with macho posturing. An example is a guy whose profile I read online that said “If you wear v-neck t-shirts or consider drag queens your friends, then I don’t want to know you.”
I’m all for people being whoever they want to be, if that is butch as all hell or as camp as a row of tents, then so be it, but don’t put on a persona because you think it’s what you should do or because you aren’t comfortable with who you really are. If you are masculine and can’t be picked as gay by conventional stereotypes then fantastic, but it is also wrong to make others feel bad because they do go out on the scene, wearing flamboyant clothing.
I’ve also just been labeled an “idiot” because I had the nerve to light heartedly make an observation that I don’t know any straight women that go camping in groups. I’m sure there are straight women out there that do, but the vast majority of straight girls I know that do go camping, do so with boyfriends/husbands. It was meant as a light hearted post and I apologise to anyone whom I might have offended. At most I want to stir up conversation about the labels we put on ourselves within the gay “community” let alone those put on us by others. If that makes me an idiot, then so be it.
There is a lot of stuff said about “straight acting” and often online you see guys say things like “If you saw me in the street you’d never pick me as gay”. Quite frankly I find all that a bunch of self loathing homophobia from guys who aren’t comfortable being gay. My lesbian flatmate and I just had a conversation about someone I know. I was saying that I was pretty confident that this girl was a dyke even though I’d only met her once. She is a friend on facebook and she has lots of photos of a camping trip. Unusual? Not so much, but all the other campers were woment too. I can pretty safely say, I don’t know any straight women that go camping in groups. Thus my conclusion that she is a lesbian.
There is a guy at the gym that I’ve mentioned on here before that I see at the gym from time to time. I wasn’t sure he was gay til I saw him at the Kylie concert with two male friends. Straight boys don’t go to Kylie concerts in groups. It’s just not something they do. We discussed that a few years back you used to be able to tell the gay boys from the straight in the gym because they groomed their nether regions. Not so anymore. Apart from Kylie concerts (or other very much loved by the gays divas) are there any non-sexual activities that straight guys simply don’t do in groups?
