Dear Santa,

Christmas is only 18 days away and I wanted to put my wish list in now before it’s too late.

I have tried to be oh so good this year and do all the things the way I was brought up. I’ve been (mostly) polite and friendly to people and sometimes I’ve even been SUPER friendly to a couple of strangers which they seemed to appreciate.

It would be oh so special to find at least one or two of the following under the tree on Christmas morning. I’d like a video camera, and not just to prove how friendly I have been to some strangers although that could be fun too. Some new clothes and all that normal stuff would be great. But most of all I’d like to find financial security, a very large cheque made out in my name would be fine. Feel free to put it in the pocket of the hunky, sexy, caring and tall husband with fabulous arms that I’m hoping to wake up to on Christmas morning.

Actually if you want to leave him on the side of my bed, that’s fine. My mother might not quite know how to handle finding him under the tree and it might be hard to explain to my young niece and nephew why their new uncle isn’t wearing anything.

Now Santa, I realise this is a bit of a big ask, but I think you can see your way right to giving me these little things. While I’m not suggesting blackmail, that’s not my style, I’m sure Mrs Claus(e) would find it most fascinating to hear you’ve been frequenting the Midnight Shift and trying to make extra friendly with the much younger men trying to find sugar daddies husbands there on a weekend. I’m sure it’s all very innocent and you just want to know what to shove up bring down their chimney too.

I look forward to Christmas morning. Enjoy the meat pie and cold beer I will leave for you, all this travelling  must make you hungry.

Yours sincerely, Aussielicious. x