The other day on facebook I saw that Mike, the guy I was going to move to the U.S. for a couple of years ago, had updated his status to being in a relationship. It’s not the first one he’s had since us, the last one was with a porn star, which kinda perfectly suited Mike’s version of monogamy until the porn star wanted too much committment for Mike.
It’s been two years, almost to the day since Mike and I called things off and while I don’t resent him, it’s only recently that I’ve stopped being hurt and angry with him. We’ve stayed in touch and I have a lot of time for him, and while there was no abuse, either physical or emotional, he did hurt me quite a bit. Having said that, I’ve learnt a lot about myself in relationships and I wasn’t totally guilt free, but it has left a few emotional scars.
So it got me thinking, when I realised I was amused by the facebook status update because he wasn’t ready for anything serious but has now had two relationships, how are we supposed to feel when an ex moves on? Of course there are a million factors in the equation, like how long you were together, who ended it, was there cheating or abuse or did things merely just fizzle out. When I see my first boyfriend out, and he’s one of those people who ALWAYS has a boyfriend and is unable to be alone, I want to run up to the boyfriend and scream “RUN!!!”