My very first boyfriend, at the age of 25, still leaves his mark on me, and not in a good way. Scott was mentally a little different to most of us. Nothing officially diagnosed, but definitely different. I would say he and his sister were unnaturally close, not in a sexual way but the rest of the world was operating on the other side of a very foggy window to them.
At the end of our second week of dating, keep in mind this was all VERY new to me, he suggested we live together. He wanted to spend every day together and over the next few months tried to infuse himself into every aspect of my life. He was also a pathalogical liar. I’ve subsequently caught up with his boyfriend prior to me and swapped stories and confirmed many lies. But I digress. After I ended the 6 month relationship, just after coming out to my family, he proceeded to stalk me for another 6 months. He’d turn up at work, call me constantly, ask to catch up, call my sister and my friends, all the time begging to get back together. Nothing dangerous, just annoying and sad, let’s call it stalking-lite.
Several years after we broke up I saw him out at a bar and he was pashing (snogging/kissing) his boyfriend, but still GLARING at me at the same time… healthy isn’t it? I’ve since seen that he’s had a new boyfriend but they’ve been going out for some time now. I’ve fought the urge to run up and tell the boyfriend to run.
After a conversation with my flatmate tonight, the possibility occurred to me of mutual stalking. Maybe an obsessive stalker can focus his intentions on a similarly obsessive stalker and they can both end up in a lovingly pathalogical stalking relationship where they don’t even have to hide in bushes because the object of their lunacy is sitting on the lounge next to them?