At dinner the other night for a friend’s birthday, a girl asked the question “What happened to the slowdance?” Remember when you were at the school dance at the end of the night there was always a slow dance and everyone would be pashing (snogging) their boyfriends/girlfriends and dancing that awkward teenage side shuffle with their arms around each other. Even in movies from the 80’s they would show slow dances at the end of the night in nightclubs.

Where did the slow dance go? Did drugs kill the slow dance because no one can actually slow down? Are gay men capable of the slow dance? My theory is that yes, drugs mean people can’t physically stop themselves dancing, or there’s no room for two in a K hole. The other theory is that if gay men slowed down on a dance floor and stopped waving their hands in the air like they just don’t care, then the groping would start and the slow dance would end up quite horizontal with 100 participants.