The wedding I went to yesterday was one of the nicest and most simple I’ve been to in a long time. There were about 50 guests maximum, the bride looked relaxed and happy, the groom, my old school mate, was having a great time and it’s so nice to see two people who really do seem to compliment each other beautifully.
One of the girls from school was saying that her mother is going to be a registered marriage celebrant and was asking her if she and her partner, another woman, were ever going to get married. That started the discussion about whether or not it’s worth doing while it’s not legally recognised. I’ve never seen the point in gay people having a traditional faith based service but I’m all for standing up in front of my friends and making a committment. One day, if Mr Right ever happens along, all my friends and family will find themselves at a huge bbq and we’ll surprise them with an exchanging of rings. That’s how I see it. What would you do?
I’ve thought about this a lot, especially in the last year or so. I thought I was with “the one” and since we live in Seattle which is really close to Canada where gay marriage is legal, I considered having a Canadian wedding.
Well, it turned out that he was not “the one” but I must say that given the opportunity and the right man, I would have a wedding in a second. You and I are of like mind in that respect, Brenton.
Cheers from Seattle-
Michael
For me, the matter is simply one of separating church and state. For those who wish a church wedding to consecrate their love, then let their religious leader confirm their love. But that doesn’t make it legal in front of the government, which is, in my way of thinking, totally separate. So the government needs to sanction marriage between any two people who wish to engage in the secular condition of marriage as defined by the government. Therefore, if you want a church wedding, get a civil one and a church one. If you want your marriage recognized by the state only, get a civil one. Let’s stop letting clergy validate a civil union. Those my feelings, whether you agree or not.
Brian
Committment cermonies are OK…But I don’t see that taking a stance against gay marriage that is not legally recognised is going to make the necessary changes come about any faster.
Might as well throw a pie in the goverments face!
Although there is any given number of reasons for wanting to pie a poli these days!
I don’t see the point. De-fact legal protections would suffice while the whole “ceremony in front of family” thing is a bit of a wank. I know a lot of people see as the next step in a relationship, a commitment, but these days it doesn’t seem such a “commitment” means as much as it used to.
My manager is getting married (to a woman) later in the year and he wonders if I would ever want to get married if it was legal. About the only reason I would do it would be for the legal aspects, and certainly no ceremony or anything.
For me a wedding at this point in time would be just an excuse for a party. More than 12 years down the track I think we’ve gone well beyond that. But I think legal recognition is important, it says at least that our relationships are as valid as onyone else’s, and should have the same kind of support and recognition. But don’t expect any exhanging of rings from me any time soon.
To me, the ceremony would be for my benefit. To stand up in front of our friends and family and exchange vows to each other and celebrate the two of us, becoming one. It’s to let people know that we are happy and in love and want to share it with the people whom we also love.
I’m actually in the early stages of planning a ceremony with my partner (fiance?) myself- I used to think it was pointless if it wasn’t legal, but for me it has become much more about the commitment than any legality. There’s just something about special about committing your life to someone. Beautiful and heartwarming. And more than a little sexy (in ways I hadn’t imagined).
we got “married” four and a half years ago, so we could share our love with ourf family and friends.
It’s fascinating that people do treat us differently now that we are married, especially those people who still ahve a bit of a problem with the whole gay issue.
It just seems to be slightly more palatable to them.
Just wondering, where did you get those wonderful couples pics for this post? Are there more from this set? Thx.
:) I’ll let you know when I find him…
I’m from South Africa where gay marriages are legal. A gay friend of mine got married in a church the other day and it was a complete circus. From the bridesmaid that fainted to the crappy DJ - it was like any other circus wedding (you’ve all be to those!) My partner (of 7 years ) and I are both agnostic and we’re gonna go the legal way - in front of a court with a judge and just get it over and done with. All our friends on the other hand want to throw us a party with a BBQ and so forth - so that’s how it will happen. But a circus it will not be! Small and intimate with only the closest friends!
As long as my fellow groom agreed, it would be, as you put it, a faith-based ceremony. I’d go for the no-holds-barred Jewish version with a rabbi, the marriage canopy, breaking the glass, the blessings, the whole shebang. I could care less about the reception.
I don’t really want to be legally married - tying my finances to someone is not appealing. However, if I were in a committed relationship, I’d probably want to have a ‘ceremony’ on a beach with just us and the officiating person. Then we’d have our ‘honeymoon.’ Later, we could have a ‘reception’ to celebrate our union.
Golly gee, I’m such a romantic. ::eye roll::
I don’t think the ceremony part of it is all that important. It’s just an opportunity to spend a lot of money and have a lot of stress, when what really matters is the love and commitment…which you can have for free.
My partner of 2 years and I are currently in preperations for our December beach ceremony. We just wanted to stand up in front of all of our family and friends, at the same time and declare our love for each other, and then have a huge party afterwards to celebrate. Because it wont be legal in Dec. we plan to change our surnames by deed poll and announce it to the guests, to show that we have something legally binding from the day.