At what point do you just resign yourself to being single and somehow overriding a natural instinct to find a partner, no matter how romantically inclined you may be? That point is getting pretty close for me.

I’ve always aspired to the kind of loving relationship that my parents have, 37 years into their marriage. They’ve worked hard to keep it together but from what I can see it’s been worth it. They still walk down the street holding hands, which makes me quietly smile to myself.

My friends say they can’t understand why I can’t find someone and there have been interesting dalliances but for one reason or another they didn’t work out. It’s been nearly 9 years since I came out and met my first boyfriend and nearly 8 since I purged that nutbag from my life. It’s been over 7 years now since I dated anyone seriously and I think that number is only going to grow.

Why do we still crave relationships when our parents generation and current marriage statistics or a mere quick ask around at the local bar would seem to show that long term relationships seem to fall apart as often as they survive? As hopeless as it feels sometimes, including right now, I can’t help myself, it’s a natural instinct for me to want to cuddle up to someone at night, make them a coffee in the morning, grow old and fat with them and watch a million sunsets.